Pyaari Maa....Mamma

Songs do strange things to you. For the past few days I am glued to ‘Titliyaan’, a song by Strings. Every time that song comes in my play list, I wait for the lines

‘Girti kirnein, tera aanchal, kaise bhoolein, kya kahein. Gaati koyel, mehka aangan, kaise bhoolein, kya kahein’.

A rare thing for me, but it strikes something deep inside, a cord which almost brings a tear to my eyes (for people who know me, no still couldn’t cry), reminding me of my mother. Being in a different city now, I don’t get to see her like the way I used to. Going back in time, it seems it was just yesterday when she used to run behind me in the house, every morning with that glass of milk to finish the last sip ‘verna gunaah milega’ or playing the mediator and saving me from ‘papa ke pitai’.

Funny part is she never trusted her son’s potential for anything (maybe she thought I am not good enough). There were days when I was waiting eagerly for something, impatient and nervous I used to be floating around, it was then that she came and said something like ‘Koi baat nahi agar nahi hoga to... iske ilawa aur kuch nahi hai kya’. At that time, it used to irritate the hell out of me – my very own mother not trusting my abilities to pass the ‘test’. But now when I sit back and think I realise all she was trying to say was... ‘Beta, there is always a next time’.

It’s strange what songs do to you, the song now goes...

‘Titliyan yaadon ke udti jaayein, rangon mein mujhse kuch keh jaayein’

I long to see her now, waiting for the day when I will be home, because no matter at what time my flight lands, no matter at what time I reach home, I know she will be ready with Mutton Biryani (my favourite) and sit next to me till the time I am filled till my throat.

There is something which I am not sure if I will be ever able to do or not. Tell her I really love her and she is one person on this planet for whom I can do anything.

Life was simple being a kid, you never had to say anything, you never felt like saying anything, it was just reaching for her and giving her a hug. Or just sleep next to her very well knowing that you wouldn’t need a pillow, her arm will always be behind your head.

No words needed.

It’s easy to write it down here, because I know she will never read it (She doesn’t know that I write a blog). Sometimes you want to say something and still remain unheard, this is one of those times.

Times, when you just want to have her sitting next to you and giving you a third serving of that Mutton Biryani even when you can’t take even a single grain anymore. Or hearing her voice on phone telling you how to wash your clothes.

I remember the late nights I had with my friends, she used to call asking if I am coming home for dinner, the answer invariably would be ‘Nahi Ammi, I will eat out’.

Now when I sit back with the song playing in my ears, I just wish the answer on those phone calls had been a little different and I have had a few more dinners, with She sitting by my side.

Intellectual Masturbation

‘Manual stimulation of your own genital organ for sexual pleasure’.

An act of pleasure, is what the dictionary means, but pleasure can differ from person to person. While somebody can enjoy playing with his/her genitals others have their own way and method of reaching an ‘Orgasm’.

Slowly and steadily, as I walk along the path called Life, I keep bumping into a very strange class of humans, and with each interaction (which sometimes is funny as they themselves) there is this venom building up inside me not being able to find a way out. With this post, I intend to vent it all out and settle the score once and for all.

The industry I work in, is an industry where you just keep bumping into this breed. These people talk nothing less than Marx, Foucault and Freud. And when they talk, they talk as if they were the ones who sat with these greats and told them what to write/say.

The kind of bull shit these creatures can do will make a strong healthy bull hide with embarrassment for his inability to produce the same amount of crap. The best part is that, they themselves are not bull shitters by birth but influenced by bigger bull shitters who think they have cracked ‘the puzzle’ . This is how the chain progresses, bull shitting passed from generation to generation.

No matter how screwed their life is but they will always have an opinion on everyone. Always an advice to tell you to make your life better or a ‘critical appreciation’ of the problems you have in your life or how incomplete you are as a person.

And in doing so, they contradict themselves without knowing that they are, maybe they realise this but then it’s all right for them since they are ‘The all knowing, ever prevailing’ .

As far as my limited knowledge goes I think Marx once said, ‘Those who cannot represent themselves, need to be represented’. But who decides that a certain flock need to be represented or who decides that who will become the shepherd of any flock?

That’s a stupid question to ask, at this juncture. Can anyone do (read faf) it in a better way than our friends, absolutely not!

You go to one of their ‘Get – Togethers’ and you will realise what I mean (the writer says this from personal experience). The first time I was a little nervous, the aura was getting to me but then I tried to be a little optimistic. At least I will learn something in the company of these great men/women, I told myself and went ahead.

The ‘Get – Together ’, as you would have guessed by now turned out to be one session of ‘bakchodi’(at least for me), now to be honest we all do ‘bakchodi’ but then we agree to the fact that at the end of the day it’s nothing but mere ‘bakchodi’.

But here I was, sitting with a person who was discussing religion and telling me how one should follow it with discipline and fervour. Quoting from texts never heard of (I didn’t know that books with that name existed). That’s another thing that the gentleman could booze, lie, back bite, have casual sex and still, tell me to be a better Muslim than him. I guess he was above all of us to actually follow whatever he was saying.

Or the lady sitting in the far corner, for her life/friendship was about the goodness, gentleness and a lot more *esses which I don’t seem to remember. But it seems that somebody forgot to tell her not keeping your promise or lying or scheming isn’t a good feat either (maybe she still hasn’t read that book which says this).

There are many such examples, many more people who just remind me of the term I just coined. The way they talk, the way they try to sound compassionate, the way they make you feel what they feel etc etc. All of this, if it looks anything is nothing more than a big facade.

Finally, my final message to all intellectual masturbators, you guys suck and you suck big time. Why do you do it? I understand if it helps you in any way – sexual or asexual, but then you make it clear that you need to do it, without which you are incomplete.

Maybe you can device a sign or something which you can give before you start doing it and we will know that you are just trying to help yourself.

I am sure it wouldn’t take a lot. Would it...