Songs do strange things to you. For the past few days I am glued to ‘Titliyaan’, a song by Strings. Every time that song comes in my play list, I wait for the lines
‘Girti kirnein, tera aanchal, kaise bhoolein, kya kahein. Gaati koyel, mehka aangan, kaise bhoolein, kya kahein’.
A rare thing for me, but it strikes something deep inside, a cord which almost brings a tear to my eyes (for people who know me, no still couldn’t cry), reminding me of my mother. Being in a different city now, I don’t get to see her like the way I used to. Going back in time, it seems it was just yesterday when she used to run behind me in the house, every morning with that glass of milk to finish the last sip ‘verna gunaah milega’ or playing the mediator and saving me from ‘papa ke pitai’.
Funny part is she never trusted her son’s potential for anything (maybe she thought I am not good enough). There were days when I was waiting eagerly for something, impatient and nervous I used to be floating around, it was then that she came and said something like ‘Koi baat nahi agar nahi hoga to... iske ilawa aur kuch nahi hai kya’. At that time, it used to irritate the hell out of me – my very own mother not trusting my abilities to pass the ‘test’. But now when I sit back and think I realise all she was trying to say was... ‘Beta, there is always a next time’.
It’s strange what songs do to you, the song now goes...
‘Titliyan yaadon ke udti jaayein, rangon mein mujhse kuch keh jaayein’
I long to see her now, waiting for the day when I will be home, because no matter at what time my flight lands, no matter at what time I reach home, I know she will be ready with Mutton Biryani (my favourite) and sit next to me till the time I am filled till my throat.
There is something which I am not sure if I will be ever able to do or not. Tell her I really love her and she is one person on this planet for whom I can do anything.
Life was simple being a kid, you never had to say anything, you never felt like saying anything, it was just reaching for her and giving her a hug. Or just sleep next to her very well knowing that you wouldn’t need a pillow, her arm will always be behind your head.
No words needed.
It’s easy to write it down here, because I know she will never read it (She doesn’t know that I write a blog). Sometimes you want to say something and still remain unheard, this is one of those times.
Times, when you just want to have her sitting next to you and giving you a third serving of that Mutton Biryani even when you can’t take even a single grain anymore. Or hearing her voice on phone telling you how to wash your clothes.
I remember the late nights I had with my friends, she used to call asking if I am coming home for dinner, the answer invariably would be ‘Nahi Ammi, I will eat out’.
Now when I sit back with the song playing in my ears, I just wish the answer on those phone calls had been a little different and I have had a few more dinners, with She sitting by my side.
15 comments:
Its never too late...just drop everything and rush back to your mum...No one in this world can love you as much as you mom... She is the ultimate example of selfless love...You will never regret ur decision of leaving ghte world for her...personal experience.. take care..
you know i too think a hundred times ... how much i love her n miss her ... specially now ... its almost 2 months she is away .... and i start wondering all the times i was unnecessarily rude to her... i wish i could ever say a sorry .. i wish i could ever express my love ... but i know for a fact ill never be able to .... miss u mom...
Commenting on a child's relation with his/her Mother has always been a luxury, I have chosen to live without. Yet, I would like to express my hapiness at the efforts that you are making to treasure this blessing. However, I am also intrigued by the little child who needd no words to express his affections, now chooses to use a platform that She has no access to, to express it to a bunch of people who can only imagine her. Why is that so? The poet in you can share his pain to the world, which by the way has no time for his emotions, but the son in you cannot make that one phone call to ask her how She has been all these days? If there is anything She would want her son to do? Life's complicated anyways, my friend, your compulsion to doubt your sanctuary is dismal. Go, give her a hug and stop strying to act all grown up, kiddo!
World today is blessed because of mothers around...
Love that she gives us is nowhere to be found.
Awwww so sweet coming from you!
Faisal I am very thankful of you ,. Actually you just described my life, from my child hood to the present... i hv been living without my mother by my side for the past 10 years..One is lucky to be living with parents... don’t wanted to think about them as It gives me pain and sorrow..but today... you made me realise that there is without mother... .wish you will get everything by DUA of MOTHER .
I am glad you could come to an emotional admission about your feelings...even if they begun from the navel....
Thank yourself!
You made me pick up the phone and call my Mum. God bless you.
lovely!Truely written by a loving, lazy and now repenting son :P
मां तो बस .... मां है यार। न कोई तुलना, न कोई उपमा, न कोई अलंकार। बस मां..... अपने शहर से दूर रहने पर तो लगता कि जैसे शहर की हर गली मैं भी मां का साया है। तुम्हारी कलम बताती है कि तुम इसे बड़ी शिद्दत से महसूस कर रहे हो। बड़ी सादगी मगर गहराई से लिखी है तुमने ये बात। बेहतरीन...। बेहद अजीम शायर मुनव्वर राना ने लिखा है - ## कुछ नहीं होगा तो आंचल में छुपा लेगी मुझे, मां कभी सर पे खुली छत नहीं रहने देगी। ##बलंदियों का बड़े से बड़ा मकाम छुआ, उठाया गोद में मां ने तो आसमान छुआ ## अभी ज़िदा है मां मेरी मुझे कुछ भी नहीं होगा, मैं जब घर से निकलता हूं दुआ भी साथ चलती है ....
मां तो बस मां है फ़ैसल। न कोई तुलना, न कोई उपमा, न किसी अलंकार की मोहताज। बस मां.....एक संपूर्ण दुनिया। अपने शहर से दूर रहने पर तो लगता कि जैसे शहर की हर गली मैं भी मां का साया है। तुम्हारी कलम बताती है कि तुम इसे बड़ी शिद्दत से महसूस कर रहे हो। बड़ी सादगी मगर गहराई से लिखी है तुमने ये बात। बेहतरीन...। बेहद अजीम शायर मुनव्वर राना ने लिखा है - ## कुछ नहीं होगा तो आंचल में छुपा लेगी मुझे, मां कभी सर पे खुली छत नहीं रहने देगी ##अभी जिंदा है मां मेरी मुझे कुछ भी नहीं होगा, मैं जब घर से निकलता हूं दुआ भी साथ चलती है## मां तुझे सलाम ....
This is so unexpected, coming from you. But very well expressed :-) Thank you for this lovely post, it's incredibly sweet :-)
Beautiful! Ive never stayed away from mom for long, but realise how bad it feels. Also feel sorry for my sis yaa. I used to pull her legwhen she cried over skype! :(
And I am glad ure back to DELHI. The heart ultimately lies where ure people are!
This was, is and will be relevant for all of who were in the past, in the present and in the future of mankind.
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